DVD of the Week: The dinner game

It couldn't be any simpler - and therefore any better. Brochant Pierre (Thierry Lhermitte) and his friends invite idiots to dinner every Wednesday and take pleasure in electing the "idiot of the night".

Unfortunately, this Wednesday, Peter is having back spasms. He finds himself trapped in his apartment with his idiot, Francois Pignon (Jacques Villeret).

And that's only where his problems start. Pierre also has to win back his wife -who just left him- with a little "help" from François, who will demonstrate his status as a WORLD CHAMPION throughout the night.

Somehow, I couldn't find any english clip to post here so here's the link to a short trailer. For the courageous ones, there's still the French trailer on the other version of the blog.

Mom, how do you make bad films?

If you ever take a class about the film industry or film distribution, there is something you will hear very often: despite the fact that it’s all about the money, no one sets out to make a bad movie. This is true. Nobody wakes up one morning and decides to spend the next 3/6/12 months of his life working on something he will be ashamed of when the world will lays eyes on it. However, there still are a lot of people who go to bed at night knowing that they are more likely to get a Razzie than an Oscar.

So what happens, inside a studio, between the first words written with optimism on a blank page (more exactly a new Final Draft file) and that first screening that makes you understand you just threw away a few million of $?

Starocracy

As Ari Gold – Vincent Chase’s agent- once said in an episode of Entourage, "without Vince, this project is just a bunch of chopped up trees with words on them! Translation: at the Oscars, when they say a good script is essential for a film, there are very much full of crap. If a script -no matter how well-written- does not attract the interest of a famous actor or director, no one is willing to finance it. At first, this seems quite logical. If Jennifer Aniston, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher and the likes are interested in a project, it has to be a good one, right? Wrong. The main quality of an actor is to act. The main quality of a director is to know what to do with a camera. Recognizing a good story when you have one before your eyes is a more than an optional quality for many of them. Now you know how you get films like Love Happens, Bride Wars or What Happens in Vegas.

Idiocracy

I hope it’s nothing new for you when I say that a film doesn’t need to be intelligent for it to be succesful. After all, the world is not exclusively populated by PhDs in nuclear physics. And The Hangover is a prime example of a good movie that doesn’t cater to university professors. Unfortunately, there is a problem that producers, who are not stupid, have to face. What is the acceptable limit of stupidity that you cannot exceed? Because if you do exceed that limit, you’ll find yourself with Miss March, When in Rome, or Year One.

Merchandising (merchandising-ocracy didn't sound really good, so I stuck with a real word)

It's simple, instead of actually making a film, you just put together 2 hours of colorful moving images. Then you can sell toys, comics, t-shirts, key chains, caps, a new attraction in the park and all kinds of other stuff...
Example: Transformers, GI Joe, Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, Daredevil, Spiderman 3, Land Of The Lost
Coming soon: Monopoly movie, Barbie movie, Transformers 3

Sadly, the only solution to prevent these films from happening would be that ridicule could actually kill somebody. But according to my information, Michael Bay is not dead; he is actually a very rich man. The producers of Land of the Lost (a film that lost dozens of millions of dollars) are also alive and hope they will have more luck next time.

Are bad films going away any time soon?
No. Apparently, they’re not.

DVD of the Week: 2 Days in Paris

I was going to talk about an entirely different movie when I read that Julie Delpy was about to make 2 Days in New York , the sequel to her first film.

2 Days in Paris follows a Franco-American couple (Marion and Jack) during their brief stay in the French capital, after a long trip through Europe.

This little layover slowly turns into a nightmare when Jack discovers that Marion is still in contact with many of er exes and some of them don't hesitate at all to tell him about her past adventures with them.

But there is more, Jack also has to deal with his in-laws. The least you can say is that they are a bit special, with the parents having an obsession with sex.

And to make things easier, Jack -who doesn't speak Franch- must also face the language barrier.

What's new, Henri?

From time to time I'll take a break from regular posts and let you know what's happening behind-the-scenes of the blog.

1. Very happy to see that the blog's Facebook page now has over 700 fans. 7 being my favorite number, the next goal is not 1000 but 7000 fans. And to achieve that, I need a little (lot) of help. So don't hesitate and invite all your movielover friends like you and me. Maybe, emphasis on maybe, there will be a big (translation: small) reward for those who bring in the most people.

2. I will very soon have the pleasure to give you some information about my first film. So keep your computer within arm's reach from now on...

3. At the same time, I have already started writing what will - hopefully - be my fourth film. 4 to 5 years in advance, if that's not called planning ahead ...

4. After the incessant demands of a certain "CC", one of the first fans ever, I will do my best to speak more often about French cinema. Also, if you want me to talk about a particular topic or ask me a question, please keep it to yourself. I don't have the time nor the inclination to answer.

5. I've always wondered at what point do written words stop conveying second degree humor. Haven't you?

6. I wish I could show what I can do best through videos just like some of my friends from high school or college. But something tells me that a video of me typing on a computer for several hours in the middle of the night would not produce the same effect.

7. I think audio podcasting may be a solution, with a voice-over by Morgan Freeman. Or exotic dancers, maybe? Suggestions, anyone?

DVD of the Week: Before Sunset

Valentine's Day is 2 days away. It's sad, I know. It was therefore inevitable for me to talk about Before Sunset, one of the best romantic films in recent years.

Celine and Jesse spent a memorable evening together in Vienna (Austria) 9 years ago (in Before Sunrise, 1995). 9 years later, Jesse has become a successful writer and is giving interviews in a bookstore in Paris. The subject of his book, you guessed it, the evening he spent with a stranger he has not seen again since. Celine traced him back through the newspapers and pays Jesse a visit at his book signing.

The result? For those who didn't like, it's 80 minutes of people talking endlessly and doing nothing interesting (translation: no onscreen sex ).

For others, it's an excellent film that addresses issues of lost love, destiny and the pursuit of happiness ...

It's up to you to pick sides. I have already chosen mine.



Directed by Richard Linklater. With Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. 2004

Who is afraid of the Web?

Last week, I concluded my post about piracy by rejecting some of the blame on the studios’ management teams, who despite their impressive online marketing campaigns are more than reluctant to actually show their films on this medium.

Everyone agrees that the future of the industry will be in online distribution and day-and-date releases (Theatrical, DVD, internet). Yet each industry member waits for the other guy to dip in the online waters, just to see if he survives. 3 things can explain that phenomenon.

1. Fear of theater owners

Their position is unambiguous. If you violate their window of exclusivity (4 months in most countries) for new films, you can say goodbye to your relationship with them. Also, until further notice, there is no better way to make huge amounts of money in little time besides theaters (ask James Cameron and Fox if you don’t believe me). To make theatrical releases even more critical, many ancillary revenues (free and pay TV, airplanes, hotels) are usually based on a percentage of box-office revenues. So, until they willingly accept to be more flexible regarding the window of exclusivity (translation: never), tomorrow is not the day you will see studio films have day-and-date releases.

2. Fear of change

Every studio executive agrees that it would be great to distribute a film simultaneously around the world at a considerably lower cost. But until you show them an Excel spreadsheet guaranteeing gross revenues similar to those they receive in the current system, they will prefer to remain the victims of piracy and complain to their government about it. After all, Avatar (the most pirated film in the world, despite the 3D factor) used the old system and did very well for itself, thank you. In addition, if the logical response to relatively lower income (combined to more than proportionally lower costs) is to decrease film budgets and studios operating expenses, who is telling Will Smith, Angelina Jolie, Amy Pascal and Tom Rothman (CEO of Sony and Fox, respectively) that they need to reduce their salaries by a few millions of dollars or use the company’s private jet company less frequently? Because I'm certainly not.

3. Fear of spectators

All that money Netflix and Amazon are making- with films released several months ago - is great. Great as well are those polls saying that "real people" (a group I'm apparently not a part of, as I've never been polled for anything) want more legal access to movies. But like St. Thomas, everyone wants to see several films released directly online and enjoy financial success before believing it. There is no guarantee after all that once a quality copy is available on a torrent, "real people", as full of good intentions as they may be, will not be tempted to enjoy “free” entertainment. There is no guarantee either that torrents’ fanatics will accept to pay to see what they used to steal not so long ago.

This reluctance to embrace online distribution can be summed up by one word: FEAR. People whose careers (and especially lifestyles) come from a particular system will only accept change with a gun to their heads (example: music, automobiles). Fortunately, change will (inevitably) come from "outsiders who will have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

Don’t say I didn’t tell you so when it happens.

DVD of the Week: Before The Devils Knows You're Dead

Today is Friday. So it's time for the DVD of the Week.

It was about 1 in the morning the first time I saw this film back in 2007 at an old Pasadena movie theater where there were about 7 spectators, my two friends and myself included. No need to say that my expectations were very low for this one.

Yet ( Before The Devil Knows You're Dead ) was a great surprise. It was intense, suspensful, and beautifully shot. The story consists of a series of flashbacks and flashforward explaining the causes and dramatic consequences of the robbery of their parents' jewelry store by two brothers with pressing financial needs. As a bonus, Marisa Tomei (The Wrestler) spends half the movie in her underwear, in case you're into that kind of thing.

I would love to get into more story details but it would be difficult to do so without "spoiling" the movie for you. And the trailer is already doing much better job at that than me.

Directed by Sidney Lumet. With Philip Seymour Hoffman, Ethan Hawke, Marisa Tomei. 2007.

The Declaration of the Rights of Man and the Internet Pirate

Last week I talked about voting with your wallet to stop the studios from continually releasing mediocre films for the simple reason that there will always be people to see them.

I also added that this was not an encouragement to all the pirates that plague the Internet and try to pretend they do nothing wrong. When listening to them defending themselves during interviews, you would almost be tempted to pass The Declaration of the rights of Man and the Internet Pirate in Washington.

Yet none of their arguments (seeming reasonable at first) hold up:

1. Culture is a public service and should ideally be free.
Let’s be reasonable for a second, music and movies are not comparable to health and education in terms of necessity. And despite those being absolute necessities, everyone has to pay (directly or through taxes) to access these services. And no one would ever dream of asking a doctor, a teacher or a policeman to work for free because of the greater good his activity brings to the community. On the same subject, I wanted to tell you that every single one of us contributes in his own way to the public interest. So why don’t we all offer to work for free? It would be a little hard to sustain ourselves, but the general interest would benefit from it. Right?

2. The most recent films are mediocre at best.
This is an opinion that I agree entirely with. But like I said before, we'll all die someday. Why waste your time with movies (2 hours of your life) that do not interest you and you don’t deem worthy of spending a few dollars on (online or in theaters)?

3. The studios and the movie stars earn too much money.
This is completely demagogic. Let's put things in perspective. $20 millions per movie is a lot. 10 millions euro to run after a ball is too much. But either you have no interest whatsoever in sports or cinema and do not contribute to fill up the wallets of all those actors, directors, football and basketball players, or you're interested in it (to some degree), therefore it is illogical in this case not to reward someone who provides something that has value for you.

4. I'm just sharing what I love with my friends.
It is perfectly legal to lend a movie to friends and family. But let’s not fool ourselves now. I am not a Facebook addict, yet I still have over 500 "friends" (a drop of water compared to others). I know we all love to feel popular but no one has over 500 close friends and needs to publish a link to an illegal torrent on his Facebook page.

The only reason one can use as an excuse for illegal downloading (one that engages the responsibility studios) is that the copyrights holders don’t make any legal way to see the film available in your country.

That will be the subject of my post next week. So sit tight

What, already missing me? Don't worry. I'll be back.